The Life and Times of the Sex Rope
by Htom Sirveaux
Summary: A collection of Newsies drabbles. Dedicated to Friskywallabee for making me the rabid Javid shipper I am today.
1. Crazy

Disclaimer: _Newsies_ is all Disney's. I'm just playing in their playground.

Drabble #1: Crazy

Htom Sirveaux

"I'm not crazy," Jack said, crossing his arms on David's couch, his pants around his ankles.

"Jack, you called me 'Hidalgo' and jumped on me from behind!" David said, running his hand through his dark curls. "What are you, a bestiality obsessed King of Gondor!"

"That does not make me crazy," Jack whined, clearly annoyed at the lack of action. "It just means I have a vivid imagination.

David snorted, looking at Jack with his hair sticking halfway up and his token bandana crooked. "Jack, you couldn't be crazier if you put on tights and pretended to be a bat."


	2. Swing Kids

Disclaimer: I don't own _Newsies_, or _Swing Kids_.

Drabble #2: Swing Kids

By Htom Sirveaux

"I'm tired," David said, hitting Jack with his pillow.

"I'm horny," Jack retorted. "Come on, Davey, I can't sleep until you take care of it."

"No. I want to sleep."

"Daaaaaaaaaaviiiiiid," Jake whined, wrapping his legs around David's waist.

"Jack, you're turning into a fucking sex Nazi!" David exclaimed.

"So WHAT if I AM!" Jack exclaimed. "Swing Heil! Swing Heil, David!"

"Shut up before I bludgeon you with my menorah," David said darkly.

"Oh. Oh I just had the greatest idea for a role play," Jack said suddenly.

"Is it offensive to my lineage and possibly every Jewish person on the planet?"

"Maybe…"

"Oh, fine. In some sick way, you playing the Gestapo officer and me playing the Jewish boy you're forcing to do your will turns me on."


	3. The Killer Chanukah Bear

Drabble #3: Respecting Heritages

By Htom Sirveaux

"Jack," David said with a blush, looking down at the large blue and silver teddy bear with a giant stuffed menorah in his paw. "What is this?"

"I'm respecting your heritage," Jack said, sitting on the flimsy school desk, the single metal pipe connecting the yellow plastic chair and the graffiti-ridden wood panel groaning beneath him.

"It's as big as Les- no, I take that back. It could _eat _Les. Why does it have fangs?" David asked, indicating two very out of place shark teeth. And not the shark teeth that you find on the beach. These teeth belonged at the Museum of Natural History, right next to the life-size cavemen. They were enormous, and ridged with what could only be described as teeth on a tooth.

"Well, I wouldn't want people to think the wrong thing," Jack said solemnly.

"What do you mean; you don't want people to think the wrong thing? It looks demonic!" David exclaimed. "If you don't want people to know we're together, don't jump me in the hallways screaming 'Give me a shag, now, Jacobs!'"

"Oh, that's not what I meant. I just don't want people to think you're like the girl or something. The Killer Chanukah Bear is way manlier than just the plain Chanukah bear. Also, I took it to some voodoo chick. If another man or- God forbid- _woman_ touches you, it will go on a crazed homicidal rampage and rip their fingers off one by one. And possibly other things"

"I'm touched," David said.


	4. Fronteirland

Disclaimer: Disney owns Disney, Newsies, and Friskywallabee gets credit for naming Bryce.

Fronteirland

By Htom Sirveaux

"Sir, you can't come in like that," the Disney Cast Member, whose nametag read Bryce, said to Jack, looking torn between amusement and annoyance. His eyes looked from the top of his ridiculous ten gallon hat, to his leather vest and matching pants and fringe, to his boots, complete with spurs. David took a step back, trying to pretend he wasn't with Jack, although his tongue had been down his throat two minutes later.

Jack feigned extreme insult, putting his hand to his chest. He began speaking in the most outrageous accent, "Zis ees zee nat-a-rahl cloding ob mah nahteeve con-tray! Eet vould be a big een-salt if I took eet off!"

"What country would that be, sir?" Bryce deadpanned, raising an eyebrow.

"Sohn-ta Fay-iance-mania-land," Jack said, as David forcefully hit his palm against his own head. "Vee are veray small but IMPORTANT."

"Listen," David said, desperately, "Can't you make an exception? He's not mentally well. You just let fifty little kids in dressed as Cinderella. I mean, what's the worst he could do?"

"Oh, alright," Bryce said, winking at David, patting him on the hand. "Only because you're cute."

"BACK OFF, FRUIT CAKE!" Jack yelled, punching him, and then grabbed David to run through the wheelchair entrance.

"Sorry, it's the schizophrenia!" David called back, as Jack began making his way toward Fronteirland.


End file.
